It has been suggested to me a couple of times that a “get to know me” post would be a good addition to my blog. So, come and be nosey…
1. What is your full name? Jasmine Chaley Saunders – used to be Buday. A weird middle name I know, my dad chose it.
2. How old are you? I turned 22 in May this year.
3. 3 fears? Holes, holes, and holes. Trust me, I hate holes.
4. 3 things I love? belly laughs, lists, a good group photo opportunity.
5. Do you have a best friend?
6. Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Unfortunately, yes. I have a tattoo that I seriously regret and will one day get it covered up. I have a few ear piercings.
7. Why did you start blogging? I have always loved reading other people’s blogs; especially mental health blogs. I have also always thought it is important to talk about mental health. Growing up with a mother who experienced mental health issues, not realising I had them too, talking was really important for us. It was all we could really do for one another.
I was pestered by so many of my wonderful friends to start a blog because they believed it might help other people. The real reason I started, is to help myself. I’ll admit I have real trouble opening up to people about my feelings whilst I’m going through them. Once I’ve made my come-back, I’m all for it. So, I need to get into the habit of talking whilst it’s happening. So my little blog is to talk about anything, as a big part of my recovery.
8. How do I feel right now? Today was a bit of a tough day if I’m honest. But I have attempted to not let it dampen my mood. I feel more relaxed now and know these things will pass. Tomorrow is nearly here and it will be a new day to try again.
9. What is something you really want? There are a lot of things that I want right now, but I try to not let that cloud my judgement about how grateful I am for what I already have. I am excited to see what the future holds.
10. My current relationship status? Honestly? Completely and utterly head-over-heels in love with my fiancé. I am so lucky to have spent the last four and a half years with him. He has made me so unbelievably happy.
11. The meaning behind my URL? “another bipolar blogger” comes from the fact that there are a lot of bipolar and mental health blogs already out there. Why should mine be special? I guess I thought that no one would really want to read what I write. But also, there are so many people experiencing problems, it shouldn’t seem like it is rare, it should be common.
12. What was my favourite holiday? Fuerteventura 2017. Myself, my fiancé and his family spent two wonderful weeks in a villa. I loved every minute of it, except our sunburn on the first day lol. Desperate for another holiday with Brad.
13. What scares you about ageing? Losing the ones I love. Grief is a bitch. But, it is also inevitable, so I intend to love my people as much as I can, for as long as I can.
14. Who was your first friend at University? I used to think that it was the first person I met at university, we were very close for a long time. But time doesn’t determine a friendship, quality does. Leena has been the most wonderful person I have met at uni. She has given me the best friendship I could have asked for. She taught me what being a friend was. No matter how busy she was, she always made time for me.
15. What makes you happy? Taking lots of photos, sunsets, fairy lights, doughnuts, blankets, forehead kisses, knitwear, scrapbooking, a good Netflix series binge, making someone laugh after they have cried, watching the sea, dunking my chips in strawberry milkshake, fresh sheets, making someone proud, when you move on from something that bothered you for a long time, dog videos, eyeshadows, planning days out, orchids, crime books, Harry Potter films, the little things.
16. Is there someone you miss? My nan. She was always there growing up and we were so close before she passed. I wish she was around to see me accomplish the things she encouraged me to do.
17. What is something that is currently worrying you? A lot, as usual. I’m an over-thinker. It’s hard to break apart to know what it is that is bothering me sometimes. I put it down to a lot of things are changing right now, and I don’t have much control over them. But it’s all positive change in the long term, I just need to be patient to see it.
18. What was your favourite subject at school? Sociology. I loved this subject so much it sparked my decision to change my A-levels and stay an extra year at college, so I could study Criminology at uni. I had originally wanted to be a nurse, but once I started “Crime and Deviance”, I found my calling.
19. What is good about how you are living your life right now? There are lots of things to be grateful for. My family are happy and healthy. My mum has a boyfriend that would do anything for her. I have completed uni and achieved the grade I wanted. I can drive. My fiancé makes me proud every day and I couldn’t wish for anyone better. His family treat me like family. I have my job back at the pub. I have been discharged by my psychiatrist. I am saving for a house. I know my friends are real and care about me. People have sent me some really kind messages about this blog. The only way from here is up, I am excited about what the future has in store for me for the first time in my life.
20. Do you take any medication? At the moment I am only taking three consistently, but it is working for me! I take Quetiapine, Lithium and Fluoxetine.
21. Do you save old cards and letters, or do you throw them away? I keep everything. In my scrapbook box, I have hundreds of letters and cards that I have received. I used to chuck them away, but when I started to lose more people I realised the importance of them. It has their handwriting. It was written for you. At that moment they were thinking of you. The way they write your name is unique. One day that is all you will have left. I have lots of cards from people I am no longer friends with too, for at that moment they wrote some nice things even if things have changed.
22. Who was the best teacher you’ve ever had? In school, it was Mr Richardson. He called me out on all the stupid shit I used to do. He would chase me up because he saw my potential and how I was chucking it away after my dad died. He took on more than a teacher role that year. He told me to get my shit together, and I did.
23. If you could eliminate one weakness in your life, what would it be? The thing I hate the most is the hold I let people have over my emotions. I know I shouldn’t be bothered by some things, but I am. What is more frustrating is that I have dealt with harder things than what people think and say about me. But I just get stuck. I wish I just didn’t care. I could be so much happier.
24. What is your biggest accomplishment? Getting my 2:1 in my Criminology and Psychology degree. Those years were some of the hardest with my mental health, as well as added academic stress. There were times I didn’t even think I would make it through the day, let alone the whole three years. I’m proud of myself for persevering.
25. How tall are you? I’m 4″11.
26. One word to describe you? Thoughtful.
27. When was the last time you cried? Today. Sometimes it’s needed.
28. Do you smoke or drink? I smoked for about 7 years, but I haven’t touched a cigarette in over 8 months now. Yay! I did use to drink, but I haven’t been drunk in over three years.
29. Something people don’t know about you? I have a weird habit, I have a compulsion to spell out words with my index finger whilst I’m having a conversation with someone or watching people talk, like in films or lectures and things. It’s odd. I can’t stop it. I don’t know why I do it. I have just done it my whole life.
30. The number of kids I want? I have never really given this much thought. I would like to be able to have the number of kids I and my partner feel and are able to have, with them being happy and healthy. That’s all that really matters to me.
31. Your relationship with your parents? This is a tough one. With my dad, it was very complicated. I loved a man who loved drugs more. I am torn between missing him and being relieved that I am able to live my life the way I want to. With my mum, we often clash. But I love her more than anything, she is the strongest person I know. I aspire to be half the woman she is.
32. Do you have any hobbies? Scrapbooking. Taking photos for my scrapbook. Binge-buying scrapbook materials. Pen-palling. Reading true crime books. This blog.
33. What are your favourite things about yourself? I like to think I’m a good listener. I genuinely try to give people as much of my time as I can give them. I’m understanding, with all the stuff I have gone through there is very little which surprises me now. I’m determined, I could have given up a lot of times but I never did. I have the same colour eyes as my nan, the only one in my family who does. I like my red hair too because she chose the colour.
34. What are your future goals? To have my own place with Brad. To have my own family. Marry the love of my life. To pet more goats. To graduate. To get more traffic on this blog. To study my masters. To get a career in my desired area. To get my crappy tattoo covered up. To travel more. To read more. To get a better car. To make my family proud.