Hello, me again!
Today’s blog post is the 3rd of my #Blogtober19 challenge – and classic addition to my blog – my mental health reflection of September.
Grab a cuppa, get cosy and let’s get nosey into my reflection on this month and my mental health…
As I mentioned in my August MH reflection, things have started to turn around for me.
So, let’s get started…
For those of you that remember, and for those of you who are new here, I was suspended from my studies in March due to my health-related issues. This was really hard for me, I’ve talked a lot more about it in July and August mental health reflections.
Anyway, as you found out in the latter, I managed to pass the year and last month I re-registered again as an official student of the University of Portsmouth. I was SO happy when I found out that I had passed. It made all the stress worth it.
But, that feeling of being proud of myself probably lasted… a couple of hours. I was immediately thrown into an overwhelming and anxious ball of stress. I had so many thoughts running through my head. What if I didn’t get on with the new students studying the course this year? What if I couldn’t manage the workload? What if I experienced physical and mental health issues again and my attendance suffered?
There was no way to answer any of these questions without actually going back. I put on my big girl pants and tried – because that’s all I could do.
I managed to get in contact with a few of the girls who were starting my course this year, I made a little group chat to get to know them a bit. They have all been so lovely so far, it’s been such a relief.
I felt strangely confident about going back on my first day. I think that is down to the fact I am a returning student and not starting something from scratch that I know nothing about – it’s like having insider knowledge.
That’s not to say that this year is going to be easy. My first day back was a presentation about the project – which is essentially the dissertation – and even though I already have a supervisor and some ROUGH areas in mind, I felt behind. It is going to be hard to sustain the work throughout the year needed, especially as I’m still unsure of my topic but I know it’s a work in progress, I’m not expected to have it all sorted today.
Overall, I feel much more positive and motivated towards this year at university. I am able to see the bigger picture and why it is all worth it. I hope I can maintain this feeling and organisation.
Last month, I created an Instagram account for this blog. You can find it here. So far, I haven’t been posting content like I imagined I would. So far I have created positive affirmations on colourful backgrounds because I personally benefit from reading posts like this.
I have really appreciated the number of bloggers which have followed and interacted with me since making it, it has been a good way to meet more like-minded people.
WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY:
The tenth of September is a very important day, as it is World Suicide Prevention day. As someone who has seen the repercussions, I wanted to write a post to raise awareness.
Check it out here.
A VISIT FROM A FRIEND:
After too many months of being separated, I finally met up with my best friend Chloe again. The thing I love about my friendship with Chloe is that no matter how long in time it has been since we’ve last met up or spoken, we always just pick up from where we left off! She is one of the most important people in my life, and in my recovery too, my longest and most valued friend. Plus, we always find some good grub together!
She is a super talented baker – check out Sprinkle Whipped here.
MENTAL HEALTH REVIEW APPOINTMENT NUMBER 2:
As I explained last month, I met with Mandy from my CMHT to review my progress of leaving this bipolar depressive episode. At the time of the appointment, I had been taking an increased dose of Fluoxetine.
We discussed how I felt like I wasn’t making the progress I thought I would have been at this stage in the recovery process. She said that she would meet with the doctors to review my medication again and that I should ‘try not to overthink as much.’ Easier said than done that Mandy.
I’m scheduled again to see her again next month, so I shall update you all in the next post!
A BIT OF EXCITING NEWS…
I GOT A JOB! I got a job which is actually relevant to my degree! I am so so so happy with myself. I am now an Outreach Support Worker with Two Saints. I have always had such strong empathy for those who are homeless, after my own experiences with my dad and it feels so wonderful to be in a position to do something for them.
It is so much better than the pub already, I have a lot to learn but I couldn’t be happier. The staff are wonderful. The support is there. Human Resources can’t do enough for you.
This has been a massive leap in my recovery, I can finally start to think about the future and feel like I have a purpose in my days. After six months unemployed, I went for an interview where I had no experience and managed to get it. Chuffed is an understatement.
LITHIUM BLOOD TEST:
As I mentioned in my ‘life on lithium post‘, I had my three-monthly blood test to check my Lithium levels were okay. This can seem like such a bore at the time, but it is so important.
SEPTEMBER BLOG SUMMARY:
In comparison to last month, I have had a major reduction in the posts I have made, but as you can see from re-starting university two days a week and working for three, I have had a big routine shock!
As much as I love blogging, I have just been rather busy in the real world this month and I have a lot of posts in the pipeline ready for #Blogtober – hopefully, I can manage to post every day! Watch this space.
- On the 31st of August, I had 3,438 followers.
- On the 30th of September, I had 3,522 followers.
- On the 31st of August, I had 112 followers.
- On the 30th of September, I had 160 followers.
- Back in September of 2018, I had received 101 total views on my posts. Fast forward to the same month 2019, I have received 326 views for this month. Not too bad considering how little I posted.
- On the 30th of September, I had received 289 total likes.
- On the 30th of September, I had received 267 followers.
- This month, I have received 193 visitors.
- This month I have received 55 likes and 27 comments.
- In total, I received 29 new followers.
Yet again, these numbers may seem small to others, but they mean the world to me!
Overall, I would have to say that my mental health is improving slowly. I have a purpose to my days. I have the ability to look to the future and maybe even make plans for it. I feel like I am worth something by trying to give back to others. I’m not completely there yet, but I’m closer than I’ve ever been. I am starting to feel happiness.
See you at the end of the month for October’s MH reflection.